interview conducted at Denny's restuarant near Holland Tunnel exit in New Jersey. Wrath of Oakland had the triple-decker with potato salad and a diet coke, and John Lennon had a chocolate shake with whipped cream and a large order of french fries with a side of mayonaise.

-- interview transcribed by the Denny's dishwasher,
Guido Zambito.

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WoO: you have been dead for some time now. any regrets?

JL: well, I havent had any decent pussy in fuckin' years mate...and that was before I was shot!!!

WoO: (laughs) See what you might mean...but didn't you 'score' during that video shoot for "Woman"?

JL: yeh mighta thought that matey, but me ***** was never really engaged in the bloody deed now. It wus just lieing there like it was on me Two Virgin record.

WoO: so in returning to earth, you seem really interested in...well, SEX!...as opposed to world peace, hunger, human rights?

JL: well yeah, wouldnt you be after takin' it in the ass for almost two decades?

WoO: what are you saying? You were repeatedly sodomized in the after life?

JL: well right you are there matey. see, first me ass was prickey'd by that bugger Michael Jackson when he stole me music catalogue from under Paulie's nose. I mean, I thought Paul, like a brother we were, and here I am dead and that cheecky bastard Jackson done run off with me catalogue I made with the boys back when.

WoO: so you mean it figuratively then, not actual penetration?

JL: well it's the same with Marx and Engles and Angela Davis now aint it? -- I mean, c'mon everybody, it's time to screw me over while I decompose to you all? I dont think so. I let Pete T in and Brian E, but that's was the last of that buggerin' I tell ya. Now I get cosmic fucked.
And to boot, me brother Paulie now is re-wurkin' the song credits to say he did what he did and I did what I did and there you are with, you know, HIM decidin' who did what when they did it. It's a fuckin' travesty I say. Look at my ass - does it say put your dick in my ass anywhere? Go on, take a look...
(JL drops pants revealing asshole to WoO)

WoO: hmmmm...no, there appears to be no sign about entry back here...

JL: right. see. but still they stick it in. If I wanted a ***** in me ass, I'd have stayed alive with me Yoko. Anyway, you got an Oval round here?

WoO: no I dont smoke anymore...so tell me, since you have been so well penetrated, as you say, who does John Lennon wanna have sex with then? A curious world wants to know..

JL: Avril. She is the real deal that one. She's a cheeky one, very clean and I always was a sucker for a girl in fatigues...me working class background I think...I cant get away from me past even though I have read alot of Phillip Roth, you know?

WoO: I would have figured maybe someone else other than Avril.

JL: naw man, she's genuine mate -- a real artist that one. I bet she'd fit nicely in a white laundry bag with some acorns and off to Bagdad we would go...

WoO: so Yoko would not be in this bag with acorns to Bagdad?

JL: well no..she's a bit porked out now. Plus, you know she sold me shades?...how's that for a wife's love? I mean, it's not like I left her poor.

love my veiled ass

quote:

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Originally posted by just a ghost:
It wus just lieing there like it was on me Two Virgin record.

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quote:
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Originally posted by Oakland:
I think of Skittles naked
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