Wow...everyone here must be TOTALLY HOT!!! - m4w

Date: Sun Mar 21st 01:59

Everyone want's totally ripped guys with horse dicks attached to them and a wallet the size of a bank vault...even the fat bitches. Man...from the posts here there's not an average looking one of you in the entire lot. I have to say...I'm mightily impressed. I mean...I see reasonably attractive to average looking folks every day when I walk down the street, but obviously not a single one of them posts here.

I have found the internet's cream of the crop here. Man I can't wait to get all up in all that prime ass out there!!! It's a gold mine of great lays right here on Craigs List. This is the happiest day of my life...I think I'm getting tearie eyed. *sniffle*

Praise the lord and pass the French tickler...Caligula ain't got nothin' on me!!!

Help your uterus get better aquainted with your tonsils with my 13"-er - m4w

Date: Sun Mar 21st 02:18

That's right Ahab, your white whale is waiting in my pants...come let me bat your pinata-esq cervix around with my 13 inch man hammer. You know you want it. Every bitch want's to ride the big one so climb aboard, we're expecting you!

If you like anal that's a plus...in fact you will hardly notice my eye patch and my peg leg when I am balls deep in your fudge tunnel. AVAST ME HEARTIES!!!

Extra big plus if you can squawk like a parrot. That really helps put this old salt at ease...and when I am at ease, I can really deliver the whease, swabbie!

Your pic gets mine. Fat bitches get preference, but boney chicks get the skull and crossbones a flyin' too. ARRRRRRR!!!

Hit me up!


Kind, caring, sensitive, white guy seeks special lady for fun times. - m4w

Date: Sun Mar 21st 02:43

I am a single white male, 33, 6', 170 lbs. I am a very intelligent, well-read person who likes long walks, the poetry of William Blake, fine wine and friendly conversation. Friends say that I am very warm and considerate. I love cats and nights in by the fire. I am very well groomed and fit as I work out 3 days a week. I have been blessed with a 9" member. I am independently wealthy from my .com days so I have plenty of time to lavish on that special lady. I have been described as a very sensitive romantic type by many and I would tend to agree.

I am looking for a woman with an exceptionally tight vagina that I can pummel mercilessly with what has been universally described as, my Hurculean love scepter. Idealy you would shriek at the sight of a #2 pencil or use a grain of rice to stem the tide of Aunt Flo's monthly visit.

I am also into water sports...being the tidy type, however, I must insist that you keep a small urinal cake on your tongue while I lavish my golden essence upon thee. I am willing to get a little brown for a very special lady,

So if you are looking for a dashing, easy going, caring, sensitive man to share special times with...look no further.

Please...no fat chicks.

SWM seeks "Open Minded" female for hot erotic fun. - m4w

Date: Sun Mar 21st 03:19

I am a 35 y.o. single white male in the Oakland area seeking very sensual, sexy female with strong domestic skills for hot erotic encounters.

Here is my fantasy...the folks are coming into town for a visit and the "love shack" is a complete disaster...we're talking half-empty chinese takeout boxes from restaurants that haven't been in business since the Clinton era level of messy.

You come over wearing sexy 60's style Eastern Block haus frau outfit complete with rubber gloves, kerchief and rubber boots. WAY HOT!!!

You then proceed to get on all fours and scrub the hardwood floors in a circular motion with a brush, a bucket of water and some Mop and Glo. Man the smell of that Mop and Glo is making me ROCK hard!

Then you clean the kitchen, the bathroom (be sure to get under the rim baby...daddy likes!), and the cat box. Also don't forget to dust.

Then when you are done (being careful not to interrupt the game that's on TV of course) you bring me an ice cold MGD from the fridge (which you open with your teeth) and proceed to service my member until I blow my load. Please make sure not to dribble any on the newly cleaned floor or I will have to put my boot in your ass.

Then, without a fuss, you leave as quietly and discretely as you entered. Sound steamy and erotic?...of course it does!

Please be at least 18 with a cute ass and small teeth. One lucky lady will be allowed to do this on an ongoing basis if you do a good job and don't chip a tooth while opening the beer.

Your pic gets mine...ENGLISH SPEAKERS ONLY! No flat chesties please.

are we supposed to guess which ad is the fake?

quote:

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Originally posted by Ed Phobes:
are we supposed to guess which ad is the fake?

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They're all fake.

quote:

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Originally posted by Tor Galore:

quote:

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Originally posted by Ed Phobes:
are we supposed to guess which ad is the fake?

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They're all fake.

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so, it was a trick question??

Don't quit your day job.


Oh wait...........

. . . the cable conductor is fixed to the manhole chamber via a rigid epoxy resin insulating body, thereby preventing longitudinal movement, but prospectively experiencing maximum differential thrust.

quote:

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Originally posted by Guido Zambito:
Don't quit your day job.


Oh wait...........

---

Such a harsh critique from a man who's idea of subtle humor is knock knock jokes and Andrew Dice Clay. I'll try not to be too devistated.

I guess it could be a lot worse though...I could be you.

quote:

---

Originally posted by Tor Galore:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Guido Zambito:
Don't quit your day job.


Oh wait...........

---

Such a harsh critique from a man who's idea of subtle humor is knock knock jokes and Andrew Dice Clay. I'll try not to be too devistated.

I guess it could be a lot worse though...I could be you.

---

Why do you continually push me away when all I want is to be near you?

quote:

---

Originally posted by Guido Zambito:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Tor Galore:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Guido Zambito:
Don't quit your day job.


Oh wait...........

---

Such a harsh critique from a man who's idea of subtle humor is knock knock jokes and Andrew Dice Clay. I'll try not to be too devistated.

I guess it could be a lot worse though...I could be you.

---

Why do you continually push me away when all I want is to be near you?

---

Distance lends enchantment.

quote:

---

Originally posted by Tor Galore:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Guido Zambito:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Tor Galore:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Guido Zambito:
Don't quit your day job.


Oh wait...........

---

Such a harsh critique from a man who's idea of subtle humor is knock knock jokes and Andrew Dice Clay. I'll try not to be too devistated.

I guess it could be a lot worse though...I could be you.

---

Why do you continually push me away when all I want is to be near you?

---

Distance lends enchantment.

---

That's like "absence makes the heart grow fonder", only smarter, huh?

quote:

---

Originally posted by Guido Zambito:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Tor Galore:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Guido Zambito:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Tor Galore:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Guido Zambito:
Don't quit your day job.


Oh wait...........

---

Such a harsh critique from a man who's idea of subtle humor is knock knock jokes and Andrew Dice Clay. I'll try not to be too devistated.

I guess it could be a lot worse though...I could be you.

---

Why do you continually push me away when all I want is to be near you?

---

Distance lends enchantment.

---

That's like "absence makes the heart grow fonder", only smarter, huh?

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Only if you consider Brady Bunch references "smarter" (which I don't).

my ads are just "I want a hummer for fifty buxs " .

quote:

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Originally posted by Xprmntl Gtr:
my ads are just "I want a hummer for fifty buxs " .

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50 bucks for a blow job?

thro in a mint and you've got yourself a deal!

this thread stands for everything I find un-Christian and holy in America

there's Satanism here