My parents obliged with, and even entertained my peculiar 'game.'

I pretended that I was a college student, and my room was my dorm. I paid my parents 50 cents if I got a soda from the fridge, or 75 cents if I snagged some of my Dad's Pringles.

To make the game more realistic, I convinced my parents to let me put a deadbolt lock on my door. You know, in case an inner-city giveaway program student tried to get my stuff while I was at class learning!

Really, I just wanted the deadbolt lock to feel more secure when I decided to cover my bed with centerfolds and get buck naked, masturbating until I bled.

Keep it up.

televisionary = EGM