...you are an Honor student and a member of the Student Council in that shithole Cacada school that you pretend to hate but secretly wake up every morning excited to attend and learn how great America is?
...you have an sexual obsession with Tor Galore and would like to move into his home and prostrate yourself before his Hiwatt amp and let him have his way with you while he's pounding out 'Bang A Gong' with his cool Peavey guitar?
...you are actually 12 years old and are gathering evidence against all Bar members in your class action 'inhuman psychological distress' lawsuit against Toyz?