Every day...sometimes twice a day he e-mails me...

"TyTor...I must have your ZIM...I spummed my shorts thinking about it last night. PLEASE...I will trade you my Deluxe Reverb Reissue and my Tim for it...it has creamy brake-up and it doesn't sound bladey"

I told him the last "creamy break-up" I had was with that chick who had that rash "down there" for giving me the drip.

When he offered to throw in his ASAT Deluxe to sweeten the deal I could smell the desperation on him like Old Spice on some old twink hunting for trouser snakes while the sailors were on in town on shore leave. Like a regular St. Patrick he was.

I swear...each word has a sweet, truth filled center in every bite.

until you own two Valvegrinders, you will never know what a friend's desperate gear-envy can really look like

envy is so fun